Somewhere beyond the sea

Being loved and having someone to love is the most wonderful feeling there is. Being able to experience such feelings in a mature age can make anyone speachless. But what if it happens from a distance? And not just any distance. Having thousands of miles and no other options than a more or less expensive travelling between the new lovers makes it all a bit bitter sweet.

How did we manage then? First of all we had a dream. A dream to have our own home. Home filled with love and laughter among the other big feelings one can not avoid when living with me. It wasn’t just my dream or his dream. It was ours and even if sometimes it was all we had, we shared it and the dream helped us to get through the hardest moments.

Not even the greatest dreams carry when nothing seems to work and one is left with despair, longing and no shoulder to lean on. For those times we had a second trick: Always have plans and something to look forward to. As soon as we had met each other either of us would book the flights for the next date. There we had something real and concrete – a date set. Sometimes after ten weeks, sometimes just after a months wait. The dark cloud of uncertainty was a lot smaller with weeks, days and hours I could count down.

For us it worked quite well to have a routine on vidcalls, WhatsApp messages and such. It was as normal part of daily tasks as brushing teeth or eating. We might have kept the vidcall on and going while both were working and doing whatever was urgent, but we didn’t have to feel lonely. At least not that lonely.

He calls me moody. I must admit the worst times of our long distance relationship were the times when I got one of my fits and sank into radio silence for a day or few. I blame the hormones.

Modern stuff such as the Internet and various communication options make long distance relationships much easier than ever before. Even if we’re not living in the age of homing pigeons any more, surprising the loved one with sending something with a letter is the best thing there is, when you can’t simply cuddle up in the corner of the sofa together. I sent various little surprises to him including rye bread and chocolate. He sent me some things too, which I can’t quite remember any more, but what I do remember are the love letters. Nothing could make me happier than seeing his handwriting and all those mushy words he had written just for me. I still keep the letters as my truly precious treasure.

I know beyond a doubt, ah
My heart will lead me there soon
We’ll meet (I know we’ll meet) beyond the shore
We’ll kiss just as before
Happy we’ll be beyond the sea
And never again I’ll go sailing

(Lyrics are from Beyond the sea, Bobby Darin)

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